random thoughts and other stuff

Its been a while since I did a blog update that didn't involve me reviewing a film so thought it was about time I did. Mainly because I'm bored and fed up tonight but also because I need to get things off my chest and this seems like as good a place to do it as any.
I started keeping a journal. I should actually say I started keeping a Journal again. I found my old one with one actual entry and simply picked it up from where I left off. its a good thing to do. It helps to write your thoughts down and get them out of your head for a while. The only problem is its became a lot more personal than I meant it to be so now I need to be careful who reads it :/ ah what the hell, who cares. Every thing's changing anyway at the moment.Some big changes coming. Some real life changing moments and to be honest its kind of scary not knowing what the future holds for me.  I've always told myself that my work is just a job to me, its something I do so I can do my hobby, which I was always fine with but lately, I'm not so sure. I think it all stems from a call I had a few weeks back. The woman on the phone was an elderly woman, in her late sixties and she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She had said she was just phoning to give a meter reading to update her bill but I soon realised she had phoned for more than that. She needed someone to talk to. Her husband had passed away 5 years ago and she had no kids, no relations to talk to. I was the first person she had spoken to honestly about how she felt about dying. She didn't want to die. She had a lot of regrets about her life, a lot of things she had wanted to do but kept putting them off to another time and now she had run out of that. I talked to her for about half an hour or so. It was the strangest call. She spoke about how she regretted spending so much time worrying about the little things in life. she was honest and said that she hadn't always been nice to people. she had driven a lot of good friends away by saying or doing nasty things to them, things she now regretted but felt it was too late to do anything about.She had lost touch with people she took for granted, thinking they would always be there if she needed them, and now that she did, they didn't want to know. It really got me thinking about my life and what I've done with it. I have regrets, everyone does, but you cant let them get the better of you. you have to put them aside and get on with it. you cant make other people like you or want to stay in touch, you have to let them make that decision for themselves, and if they decide not to then you have to accept that and let them go no matter how much it hurts.  OK this is beginning to sound like a Jerry Springer final thought. Think its time I stepped away from the keyboard and headed off to bed. I promise business as usual tomorrow with a slightly more cheery update on "True Grit" by the Coen Brothers. Until then, cya later!