That time of year

It's my birthday this week and I'm feeling old. I'm going to be thirty eight which I suppose isn't that old but it feels it. I suppose I'm being silly but I keep thinking what have I really done in that time? Am I really where I ought to be at this time in my life? But as well as looking back, looking forward doesn't look that good either. What do I really have to look forward to? Next year, for various reasons, isn't going to be an easy one. Ive got a lot of hardships to deal with next year and I'm not sure I'm ready for them. I need to do something about it. Will I be sitting here a year from now in the same situation? At the moment I've lost my passion for filming. All the troubles and problems from the feature film have really hit me hard. It's put strains on me, my work life, my friendships and my personal life. And it's still not finished. I hope it's not my "la mancha". I'm determined to finish it and make it look the best I can but it may be out of my hands now. Guess I'll need to wait and see what happens. Anyway, happy birthday to me for this Thursday. My present to myself is a week off work to relax and try and get back to normal service. Till then cya later.

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